Breaking the addiction

Well I made it through my first day as a NON Smoker. Actually yesterday was pretty easy its this morning that is rough. LOL. My normal morning routine is a huge 32oz mug of coffee and of course a few cigarettes. I got sugar free gum, mints, cough drops, and a jar of menthol rub to inhale from to help with the menthol part of my addiction. So far sitting here drinking coffee and sitting in bed gaming with marv has been my 2 times that I really start feeling it.

Other things, one tire on the van has had a really slow leak in it. He's taken it back and they can't find the leak so we have just been living with it for now. Keeping an eye on it and keeping it full. Well it went flat on him last night. And of course today being the 4th NOONE is open. LOL

My SIL was telling me last night that at the new casino next door (the horse park recently opened a 24 hour casino) to us they are having a FREE concert tonight. One of my childhood idols is gonna be performing and I can't Go!! *crys* If I'd had enough warning to make the half hour drive to the nearest place to rent a wheelchair I coulda gone. So I guesss It's opening my patio door and hoping the sound carries enough.

Anyhow its Davy Jones from the Monkees. I adored their show growing up I was a religious watcher. To bad its not all 4 or I would go somehow. Even if i had to crawl lol!!

lol Ahh well there going to have a big fireworks show too. So at least jay wont have to miss seeing any because Marv has to work. The park is close enough we will have a great view of any of the fireworks from the sidewalk just out front of the apartment.

Man in just the few minutes I have been sitting here since I got up 35 or so) I have started to reach for my missing cig pack 7 or 8 times unconciously lol..All the ashtrays went into the dishwasher last night. I Put my case, lighter etc up out of sight. And since I rolled my own I took the plastic tuperwear containerI used to hold it all in the dishwasher also and put my roller thingy & tamper away. threw away all the empty tubes I had too. So even if I am tempted to cheat i can't cause there isn't anything here to cheat with. lol

My daughters not home either so I can't bum one off her. Shes gonna have to clean up her room too now. Gotta get carpet powder or rent a cleaner to help get the smells out.
But I am doing it!!!

Cardioligist says

Well I finally managed to get in and see my cardiologist and boy am I NOT happy. Why? Abnonrmal ECG he didn't exactly say what was abnormal about it but he now wants a heart cath done.

BUT there are problems with that.

Because of my large belly they can't go in through the groin, (BUT he did say something about the possibility of having my belly removed? Have to see where that goes) So they will go in under the arm.

We sat for a extra hour while the nurses played phone & fax tag. Since I had M.R.S.A before they wanted to get ahold of the records from 2002 saying I was cleared from it. But that wasn't possible. So tomorow I have to go and get a nasal swab done to be sure. Only when that comes back can they actually schedual the heart cath. Since its a culture test it will be 72 hours before they get back anything.

The doc wants more testing but he says at my size most of the tests can't tell him much. One of the reasons he said something about getting my large stomach removed. He was pleased that I want to get the band and mentioned possibly having both done at the same time. But he had to see just what was goin on with my heart first. Also durring the cath they will be doing some imaginging.
I also start the patch for quitting smooking too soon so life sounds like its gonna be a trip for a bit next week. Gotta take a 30-45 minute drive to the center where they want to do the cath at. I REALLY hate driving into Indianapolis. Seems the older I get the more nervious I get riding in the car, interstate/city driving utterly freaks me out anymore.

FINALLY got a accurate weight though. 6-months ago I was 440 today was 424. So there has been some loss. Just not as much as I would have liked. But I now also know of place I can go to get weighed durring daytime office hours if I need to, another office in the cardiologist building has a full blown wheelchair type scale.

Dad is in the hosptial atm we have the same cardio doc. Hes gonna have a cath also and possible stent replacement. In the morning. He started having chest pain last night. He is 82 now and had several caths. Doc was trying to warn me that dad is increasingly more negative and vocalized to him that he was ready to be done with life. I told the doc yea I knew he had started talking like that 2+ years ago right before they had to put him in the nursing home. At the time we were living with him but he refused to follow his doctors orders and refused to let me help him with much. He was already talking like that then. So for really close family this is nothing new. But I could tell the doc was spooked by it. He really does care about his patients.

So thats it. I now have 2 docs that care (FINALLY) And want to help me improve my health so only good can come from that.

Well last weeks mamogram wasn't to bad I guess. Standing the whole time was the worst part and the lady who did it although quite nice, comfortable to chat with and was very easy to work with must have been 75 and 100lbs soaking wet. lol. Still haven't gotten the results though but i gotta call the dr.s office on monday anyhow cause medicaid refused to let me try chantixx yet for smoking. They say I gotta try other methods MORE RECENTLY first. Ok so 15 years ago is to long I guess. lol.

So I get to try the patch. yea. (sarcasm)

Our cable/phone/internet has been down more then it has been up this week. Which is why I haven't posted much. Also not allot is going on really.

My rant for this week. The library. On friday evening Marv was off so we though we would take advantage of the librarys SUMMER hours. Open till 9 pm durring summer months. Nope. 5:30 on friday and saturdays o.O To be exact.
Monday - Thursday, 9am to 9pm
Friday and Saturday, 9am to 5:30pm
Sunday 1 to 5pm

Again with the stupid hours. I guess since the kids aren't in school they think no one wan'ts to go to the library on the weekends.

Now its bad enough that Marv never gets the same days off each week. And rarely ever gets 2 days together. But since lately they keep giving him at least one weekend day off we aparently have to get up EARLY to go the library. forget the fact that we might have to pay bills and do tons of OTHER running because so many buisnesses have wonky hours. Lets make life even MORE difficult for those with odd hours to get books.

Ahh well guess the kids gotta do without till tuesday. I think hes off then. Or else its one of those hell days where he has to be in at 8am.

A chuckle for today:


All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises
of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
now...the wax.


Read on.........



My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, eat
dinner, play with the dog.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for
the next few hours:

"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine
cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise.....the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot
wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and
you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in, so I get out the hair dryer
and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh.

Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!




OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north.

After checking on the dog, I sneak back into the bathroom, for
the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace Myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'M BLIND!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAAAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off
half the strip. CRAP!

Another deep breath and RIPP!

Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out.....

Must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing
drums???

Breathe.......breathe!!!

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE
WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I
see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.....it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake.......remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet.

I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.



Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself.....

"Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop
off!"

What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the
wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used
to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment.......I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub......in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has
some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter.......

"So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause.

She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to

scrape the wax off with a razor .

Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on
and.......

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the neighbors and scared the dickens
out of my friend.

It's soooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!"

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice
to my grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......